Jars of Clay . . . Vessels of HOPE

Abraham was too old. Noah got drunk. Isaac was a daydreamer. Jacob lied. Joseph was abused. Moses stuttered. Jeremiah and Timothy were too young. Rahab was a prostitute. David was a murderer and an adulterer. Elijah was suicidal. Isaiah preached naked. Jonah ran from God. Naomi was a widow. Job went bankrupt. Peter denied Christ. Martha was too busy. Mary Magdalene was demon-possessed. The Samaritan woman was divorced…more than once. Paul was a murderer. Zaccheus was too small, and Lazarus was dead!

I used to carry this passage around with me on a piece of paper inside my planner so I could get it out and look at it every now and then—just to remind me that all God has to use is weak and broken people. He even spoke through a donkey, which is good news for us who feel called into ministry but also feel woefully inadequate. Sigh.

My pastor and spiritual father used to tell me, “God doesn’t need your ability, Vanessa. He needs your availability. He also said, “God doesn’t call the qualified; He qualifies the called.” (Thank you Pastor Gary :) This helped me so much in my early years of ministry when the “imposter syndrome” would often creep in….that seething whispering voice of the Enemy that says, “Who do you think you are?”

According to clinical psychologists Pauline Clancy and Suzanne Imes, imposter syndrome is the condition of feeling anxious and not experiencing success internally, despite being high-performing in external, objective ways. This condition often results in people feeling like “a fraud” or “a phony” and doubting their abilities.

If you are feeling inept or inadequate in any area of your life, this article is for you. In it, I’m going to share two key points that have helped me again and again to remember who I am and WHOSE I am, and to silence the voice of the accuser when he comes to tell me I am not good enough.

1. I remember that I am only the vessel. The power and anointing that breaks yokes come from God. Have you ever gotten somewhere and realized that you don’t know how you got there? It’s unnerving, but leaves you feeling so grateful that you are surrounded by angels and that Someone is guiding and even carrying you at times. Recently, I heard someone talking about the memoir, Hearing AIDS: How a Deaf Child with AIDS Taught Me to Hear God’s Voice. They said, “I read through it so quickly. The end of each chapter left me wanting to keep reading an know more…” I hear comments like this often, and I stare at them in wonder. Mainly because I don’t know how it happened. I don’t know this book got finished, how it flows so smoothly, how the end of each chapter has just enough suspense that causes the reader want to keep going. I know these are skills of good writers, but I don’t remember intentionally being able to do this. Mother Theresa once called herself “a little pencil in God’s hand.” The English teacher in me loves this metaphor! This helps me in speaking, teaching, and song writing. My part is to walk to the podium, sit down at the keyboard or laptop-and He will do the rest.

2. I remember that my mentors, leaders and family members are also clay (human) vessels. One of the most difficult memories in my life was the first time I realized my father was human, a mere man.(!) Growing up, he was larger than life to me. His presence filled every room he walked into. He loved better, was more generous and wise than anyone I knew. Yet he was a flawed man, and the first time I discovered a moral failing on his part, it turned my world upside down. And yet it was one of the best things to happen to me and to our relationship.

I realize now that I had unwittingly put him up on a pedestal and made an idol out of him. Any person, job, ministry, thing that we put before God in our life can become an idol. When we put our faith and hope in any human being, we will be disappointed. It is only God who never fails or disappoints.

“When we put our faith and hope in any human being, we will be disappointed. ”

vanessa speaking at nuyaka baptist church

Our beloved IHOPKC family/community has recently been ripped apart by allegations of misconduct by it’s founder, Mike Bickle. There is an investigation led by a third party law firm, and I do not know what the outcome will be. I do know, however, what God says about each person involved—that they are sons and daughters of a loving and merciful God who is committed to love, healing, truth and righteousness….who is committed to purifying His Bride (the Church). I keep thinking of the mount of transfiguration, when Peter, James and John saw Jesus in His glorified form, speaking with Elijah and Moses. Peter “did not know what to say”, but started talking. How often do we do this? We don’t know what to say but we start talking anyway…start posting…sharing our opinions. This is never a good idea and yet I am guilty of this far more often than I care to admit. Oy. I am greatly encouraged, however, by this phrase. It is my prayer for myself, for my family, for you and for anyone who has ever been disappointed or hurt by a parent, mentor, boss, leader or ministry. . .

“But Jesus came and touched them. “Get up,” he said. “Don’t be afraid.” When they looked up, they saw no one except Jesus. (Matt. 17:7-8)

Guide to Centering Prayer (or How to Calm Down and BE STILL)

My First Experience With Centering Prayer

When my daughter Savannah was 9 months old, I needed to go in for an outpatient procedure that wasn't serious but would require 2-3 days of recovery time. I took off work, made arrangements for my mom and Jeff to care for Savannah and prepared for three days of bed rest. I bought a new book, a fresh journal, chose some of my favorite movies and music cds and let others know I would not be available for a few days. While I was writing in my journal on the morning before the procedure, I was surprised and a little unnerved by the fact that I was looking forward to surgery so that I could have some time to myself. "Something is wrong with this picture," I thought and decided then and there that I would start taking short personal retreats on a regular basis.

Personal Retreat at Osage Monastery

I made a reservation at a retreat center called Osage Monastery in Sand Springs, which was only about 40 minutes away from home. It was run by a group of Benedictine nuns, but was open to people of all denominations. I stayed in one of several tiny cabins furnished modestly with a twin bed, a rocking chair and a desk. In the main house, we would gather for meals and centering prayer, which took place in a beautiful chapel with two walls of glass that looked into the forest. We would file in quietly and find a space on the floor cushions or chairs arranged in an inner and outer circle. The sessions were 30 minutes at a time and began with a sacred-sounding chime or gong, followed by 30 minutes of complete silence. Well, except for the occasional shifting positions, sniffle, cough, sigh or growling stomach. It was awkward at first and It seemed to take most of each session to quiet my chattering mind, but each time the gong chime sounded to end the session, I felt calm, peaceful, more connected to God and well, centered.

The chapel at Osage Monastery Forest of Peace where I first learned about centering prayer

You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.

--Isaiah 26:3

What is Centering Prayer?

Centering Prayer is a silent form of "listening" prayer that allows us to experience and enjoy the presence of God within us. It does not replace other types of verbal prayer and intercession, but instead is a way to simply "rest in God" and to just be with Him. It serves to deepen your relationship with Jesus Christ, moving from a place of conversation to intimate communion.

Centering prayer is "receiving" rather than "active" prayer. As you sit in silence, "resting in God", you move from conversation to intimate communion.

How Do I "do" Centering Prayer?

• First, choose a sacred word as a symbol of your intention to consent to God's presence and action within. This word will help to "anchor" you so that your mind will be able to settle down. Some examples of sacred words: Lord, Jesus, Love, Peace, Faith, Shalom, etc. I like to choose a word from my daily Bible reading such as praise, mercy or steadfast. I also sometimes choose two words--one for when I inhale and another for the exhale. My favorite sacred word for centering prayer is "beloved". I like to breathe in the words"Be Loved" and think of receiving God's love, then exhale "Be Love" to remind me of how I want to respond to others throughout the day. Other times I will breathe in "Peace" and breathe out "Be still". Ask Holy Spirit to highlight a sacred word for you.

• Sitting comfortably with eyes closed (sometimes I look at the floor or out the window), settle briefly, and silently introduce the sacred word as the symbol of your consent to God's presence and action within. Sit on the floor or in a chair with your back straight. Don't get so comfortable that you become sleepy, but comfortable enough to avoid thinking of the discomfort of your body during prayer.

• When you become aware of your thoughts, return ever-so-gently to the sacred word. It will happen. Suddenly you will be convinced that you have to make that dentist appointment right now, start a load of laundry, text a friend, or check Instagram or Facebook. Ask me how I know. Simply acknowledge it (I like to think of thoughts as clouds passing by me) and return to the sacred word. It's normal to have to do this several times during a single session. Don't get discouraged!

• At the end of the prayer period, remain in silence with eyes closed for a couple of minutes. Remember that the positive effects of centering prayer are usually felt later in your daily life, not in the period of centering prayer itself. Think of it like taking vitamins. You don't necessarily feel the difference as soon as you take them, but over time, they contribute to your wellbeing.

My mouth will speak words of wisdom; the meditation of my heart will give understanding."

Psalm 49:3

Further Suggestions for Centering Prayer

• Try lighting a candle. Over time, it will signal your body and mind that it is time to pray. I like to burn incense or sage because it reminds me that my prayers are "like incense" rising before the throne of God. (Psalm 141:2)

• Start with 5 minutes at a time and work up to 20 minutes per session.

• Aim for two twenty minute sessions each day, but if you only have five minutes, do it anyway!

• Start a centering prayer meeting group. Gather a few friends once a week to sit in silent prayer together. Take time after the session to share what impressions or visions you had during prayer. You can also share what you feel that God is speaking to your heart.

• Teach your children! I was hesitant to teach centering prayer in my middle school Bible classes because I didn't know how this group of very active students would respond. To my surprise, they loved it! Several of them even asked "Can we do this in class every day?" It helped them to settle down and prepare their hearts and minds for the lesson.

• Use the Centering Prayer App! It has passages of Scripture to read before and after your prayer session, and several choices for sounds that signal the beginning and end of each session. Below is the image of the Centering Prayer app icon:

This is the icon for the Centering Prayer app. It's easy to use and offers a reminder of the guidelines as well as choices for which sound you'd like to use at the beginning and end of your prayer session.

For more information about Centering Prayer, visit https://www.contemplativeoutreach.org

Help us keep the fire on the altar burning (Leviticus 6:13) as we help support and sustain 24/7 worship and prayer at the International House of Prayer in Kansas City. We are committed to pray for your business, family and ministry, so feel free to share prayer requests!

Donate to the prayer movement

Donate

Going On a Prayer Walk

One of my favorite ways to connect with God is by taking a prayer walk, either alone or with a group. According to Rosalind Rinker, prayer is simply “a conversation between two people who love each other.” Enoch was said to have walked with God in Genesis 5 and since he didn’t die a traditional death, I can’t help but think of the possibility that he and his Maker had such an electrifying exchange one day that God said, “I can’t take the distance anymore! Come on up here, Enoch.” This is just my opinion of course, but I do know that when I have something on my mind or just want closer communion with God, I go for a walk. Here are a few of my favorite types of prayer walks which can be alone or with others. 

Our prayers lay the track down which God's power can come. Like a mighty locomotive, his power is irresistible, but it cannot reach us without rails.”        

—Watchman Nee

Creation/Nature Prayer Walk

Many of the Psalms show how God speaks to us through nature, whether it be the bird who makes it’s nest near the altar (Psalm 84) or by the mountains that surround Jerusalem. (Psalm 125) Jesus uses farming and weather illustrations to teach lessons. After a prayer walk at Forerunner Christian Academy, one of my Bible class students may mention that upon seeing dandelions, they feel God is speaking to them about the “weeds” growing in their heart. Another may look at the same dandelions but feels God speaking a message to his heart about how the seeds blow in the wind and that when we share the Love of Christ it spreads all over. Walking by a rushing stream might cause you to think of how your mind is rushing and how you need to slow down. An eagle or falcon may remind you that you can soar above your problems and difficult circumstances.

One person may see dandelions and think about "weeds" growing in his heart while another sees the same dandelions and considers how the seeds blow in the wind like spreading the love of Christ.

Meditation or Devotional Prayer Walk

When I take my students on a devotional prayer walk, I have them highlight a passage in their Bible or write a verse on a notecard. This acts as an “anchor” to help them when they get distracted. As they notice their thoughts wandering to what’s for dinner or what their friend is doing, they can simply come back to the verse. They can whisper the verse or even ask Holy Spirit to open up deeper revelation or life application. One of my favorite verses to pray on a devotional prayer walk is....

Make me know Your ways, O LORD; Teach me Your paths. Lead me in Your truth and teach me…”

—Psalms 25:4-5

Intercessory Prayer Walk

When I first moved to Kansas City and didn’t know any other parents at our school, I asked some mothers to join me after drop off at a nearby hiking trail. We shared personal requests and visited as we walked to the first “station” or stopping point. We gathered beside the path and prayed for the students, teachers and leadership of our school. Then we would walk in silence for awhile to another stopping point. At prayer stations, mothers could choose to pray aloud or simply stand in agreement. We saw so many wonderful things happen in our families and our school! 

Ask a group of people to join you on an intercessory prayer walk at a local trail. This trail is near our school and on Wednesday mornings after school drop-off, I met with other moms to walk and pray for our kids and school.

Family or Class Prayer Walk

I first started doing prayer walks with kids at Remnant House of Prayer in the summer camps and after school programs. We asked for prayer requests from the community and each week students would choose a prayer request card to pray over during the walk. I encouraged the kids to not only pray for the specific request, but to ask Holy Spirit and listen to what He might say. The request might be for healing but God may prompt you to pray for financial provision or healing of broken relationships. Elijah would always ask for the same prayer card, “Vanessa, can I pray for the girl with the headaches?” One of our partners had chronic migraines on an almost daily basis and God healed her completely!

Elijah asked every week for the same prayer request card. "I wanna pray for the girl with the headaches." God healed her of chronic migraines! Use prayer request cards or index cards with Scripture to help kids stay focused.

Jericho Prayer Walk

One of the most memorable examples of prayer walking in the Scriptures happened when Joshua led the Israelites around the city of Jericho 7 times, then gave a loud shout. The walls that withheld blessing came down following their faithful prayer walk! I’ve heard of people doing a “Jericho March” prayer walk around a property or home. We have done prayer walks around polling centers on the night before an election. At Forerunner Christian Academy, my Bible classes do prayer walks around the school. It’s by far the most popular activity of every class. We walk slowly in silence about ten feet apart and share insights and revelations from the walk at the end. Then we often pray together in agreement.

Helpful Tips and Other Resources

• Pray from Scripture. My favorite prayer list for intercession is the apostolic prayer list from the International House of Prayer.

• Print out a map of your route. If you are going on a prayer walk around your city, print out a map with the route and mark the places you will stop and pray together with an "x".

• Prepare a list of prayer points.. For example, "at the city offices, stop and pray for wisdom and direction for city council members, chief of police, etc."

• Split groups into two's or three's. People are more likely to pray aloud in small groups. This works best if you have a ministry group praying over the city. For students, I tell them to keep a car's length single file between each person so they can better focus on hearing Holy Spirit's voice until we gather for group prayer at the end of walk.

• Expect to “hear” God’s Voice!He may give you a vision or He may highlight a verse to you. You may “hear” a song or think of a person you haven’t spoken to in awhile. Take time to pray for that person and ask Holy Spirit if you should make contact or send a text, note or email.

• Ask for a sign of God’s favor! (Psalm 86:17) He sends me butterflies and ladybugs, but once, a boy from RHOP asked God to see a turtle on our nature trail prayer walk. I’ll never forget the look on his face when we turned the corner and saw a lake with dozens if not hundreds of turtles all around the pond and on every log! It was his “sign”.

• For more information on prayer walks, visit the prayerscapes.com

• Wanna go on a longer pilgrimage prayer walk? Find out more about the Camino de Santiago here.

• One of my favorite films about this pilgrimage is called "The Way" with Martin Sheen. Watch the trailer here.

donate here

My 60-Day Juicing Reboot

juice image by Astrid Smith

Why do a reboot?

I am on day 21 of a juicing "reboot". In March, I got sick with a sinus infection, then ear infection, then bronchitis and multiple rounds of antibiotics seemed only to make me feel worse. Lab tests revealed I was low in iron and vitamin D, and an ultrasound showed cysts on my ovaries that were causing pain in my stomach. I was often exhausted and no matter how early I went to bed, I felt I could not sleep enough. After I slept for nearly 20 hours straight one weekend, Jeff said, "There has to be something wrong."

How did I get here?

In 2010 I had a partial thyroidectomy after discovering a nodule and before that, I never realized how many things the thyroid affects. It produces hormones that affects your body's energy and metabolism. An under-active thyroid can affect many different systems in the body, including the mind. I used to work as a sign language interpreter in the mental health field and was startled to walk by a poster one day that said problems with the thyroid are often similar to and confused with many bipolar symptoms! Since that surgery, my health has not been the same and though I take medication, I know that I can improve my diet.

Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead

I remembered watching the documentary "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead" several years ago and was struck how a juicing fast helped a guy named Joe Cross to heal from a debilitating auto-immune disease. I looked up his website and found some great resources and an online community. I ordered his books with lots of recipes and connected with others who were juicing to regain their health. After much prayer, I decided to start on March 30, 2019.

I found amazing juice recipes and help with my reboot at

https://www.rebootwithjoe.com

You can also watch his documentaries that inspired me.

Reboot = To Restart by loading the operating system; boot again; to produce a distinctly new version of; to make a change in (something) in order to establish a new beginning.

Prepare Your Body Before Juice Fasting

I started with a Daniel-type fast, eating fruits and vegetables and cutting out meat, bread and dairy. Some of my favorite dishes to make during this time of preparing my body included sweet potato and carrot fries (tossed with cumin and olive oil and roasted at 425 degrees), Caprese salad made with avocados, olive oil, basil and tomatoes, spaghetti squash and acorn squash stuffed with garlic, onion and mushrooms.

One of my favorite dishes during the week I prepared my body for juice fasting

Roasted acorn squash stuffed with onions, garlic and Bella mushrooms.

Uhhhhh..... Yes, I know. I WAY overdid it on the onions!

Why Do We Feel So Bad?

The standard American diet is literally killing us. It's so convenient to pick up fast food and because my dad was a basketball coach, we were accustomed to eating out often when I was growing up. My physical activity (basketball) helped to keep my weight under control, but since the thyroid surgery, I have constantly struggled with my health. We no longer eat out as often, but our diet still includes far too many carbs and not nearly enough fruits and vegetables. I am determined during this reboot to learn new recipes and try new things. I recognize that I won't like everything. Case in point.....

I was trying to make quinoa with almond milk and berries. As you can see, it was a huge "fail". I apparently did not cook the quinoa right. It was like eating birdseed.

Benefits of Juice Fasting

The idea behind juice fasting is to give your body and organs a complete rest, which allows them to "reboot" or reset while you flood your system with micronutrients in the fresh pressed juices. It gives your body a chance to get used to fruits and vegetables and when you are done with the reboot, you will even crave healthier foods! Anyone can benefit from a 3-day, 5-day or 10-day reboot but because my body is so toxic and unhealthy right now, I know I have to do something drastic, so I'm doing a 60-day Reboot. I am now on just juices (4-6 per day) and am feeling great! I have more energy that I have had in years, my skin is clear and my headaches are gone. I've lost 18 pounds which is great, but my main goal is to restore my body to health. I will continue to post progress and insights throughout the reboot. Let me know if you've ever done a juice fast or reboot before and if you have suggestions or tips. With love and much HOPE....

\m/,--Vanessa

Write a Career Manifesto

Teacher manifesto image

Recently, I shared about how writing a personal manifesto for my life helped to clarify my values and vision for how I want to live in 2019. The word "manifesto" is described as "a written statement that describes the policies, goals, and opinions of a person or group." While the previous manifesto focused on my personal life as a whole, this one reflects how I want to carry myself as a teacher. Feel free to modify your manifesto to your own career! Here is my "Teaching Manifesto":

1. Where there is no honor, there is no glory.

2. Warm greetings and farewells

3. Embrace silence

4. Connect before you correct

5. Under-react to problems. Over-react to solutions.

6. Assume positive intention

7. Raise the bar. Have Great Expectations.

8. Iron sharpens iron

9. Teach them to fish

10. “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”—Maya Angelou

donate button

Where there is no honor, there is no gloryIn Hebrew, the word translated as "honor" (kabed) derives from a root word meaning "weighty" (in terms of impressiveness or importance) and is often used to refer to the glory of God. We could also say that where there is no honor, there is no blessing. By promoting a culture of honor in my classroom, I open the door for the anointing, for God's "weighty" presence to fill the room, bringing peace and joy.Warm greetings and farewellsI meet my students at the door, and often they can see how excited I am to see them as I smile and wave from all the way down the hall. They have the option to hug, high-five or handshake as they are walking into the room. I realize that this would not work for many public schools, but I am at a private Christian school, and this positive interaction often sets the tone for the rest of the class. It shows the student that "I see you" and am looking forward to spending time with them. Often students who have moved on to a different grade level will show up randomly at my door to say, "I just really needed a hug today."Embrace silenceSeveral years ago, I was sharing Isaiah 30:15 "....in quietness and confidence is your strength..." with a group of junior high age students. One of them said, "I know what confidence means, but what is that other word?" I stared at him for a long moment. "Quietness?" I have never forgotten it because it highlighted a focus for prayer for this generation. So often consumed with their electronic devices and a desire to be continuously entertained, we have lost the ability to just sit in silence and be still. In my middle school Bible classes, I decided to introduce "centering prayer"--silent, contemplative prayer focused on a single word or thought. I was not sure my students would even be able to sit in silence for that long. I gave some instruction ("close your eyes or fix your gaze...when  you get distracted, go back to your breathing and your centering word...") and set the timer for 5 minutes. Some fidgeted for minute or so (okay, three or four) at first, but at the end of the five minutes, they were calm and focused. "Can we do this every day?" someone asked and the others nodded enthusiastically. There are lots of great meditation and mindfulness apps, but my favorite is called "Centering Prayer". Check it out!Connect before you correctBefore giving a tardy slip or dress code violation, I try to connect with the student. "How was your volleyball game last night?" "How is the new puppy?" This shows students that I care about them and am not just looking for something they've done wrong.Under-react to problems. Overreact to solutions.I tend to be a little "tightly wound", and do not like to deviate from the plan. So when the projector is not working or a lesson takes longer than I intended or someone forgets their part of a group project, my stress level rises and I start to lose my patience and my peace. I have to take a deep breath and remember one of my favorite quotes from Julian of Norwich, "All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well...." When a student poses a solution to a problem, however, I like to make a big fuss. "What a fantastic idea! We could change the order of the group presentations... I would love for you to invite the guest speaker who is an expert in the field..." etc.Assume positive intentionWhy is this so hard for us? I often assume that questions undermine my authority or cast doubt on my ability to lead, when they may simply be for the purpose of clarification. Once during our morning chapel service, I saw two male students get up and walk toward the back of the room. I am ashamed to say that my first thought was that they were going to the hall or to the restroom to goof off or avoid chapel. Instead, they walked over to our principal and asked if they could pray for her. Sigh. Lord, help me.Raise the bar. Have great expectations.My dad was a school administrator in public and Native American boarding schools, and a phrase I remember him saying often was "students will rise to the level of expectation you set for them." In my classes, this looks like challenging them to memorize more than just one verse at a time or teaching middle schoolers to look up cross references and the original Hebrew and Greek words in their Bible reading. What would "raising the bar" look like in your classroom? I'd love to hear it!Iron sharpens ironProverbs 27:17 says "As iron sharpens iron, a friend sharpens a friend." Similar to socratic circle seminars, we have "Iron Circle" discussions in my classes. The inner circle begins the discussion while the outer circle listens and takes notes. Then they switch places, giving the outer circle an opportunity to build or expand on points previously discussed. We also go on silent meditative prayer walks around the school building. We often have a theme or verse we are mulling over or praying from, but the point is to listen to what God might speak through the verse or even nature. Students share their personal revelations at the end of the walk, and I am always amazed at the depth of their epiphanies!Teach them to fishWhen I first started teaching at Forerunner Christian Academy in Kansas City, I sensed the Holy Spirit saying, "Teach them to fish." I was reminded of the saying "Give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime." So rather than just teaching what a passage means (giving a fish), I teach simple Bible study methods and how to use reference tools so they can "fish" for themselves. I love hearing the stories of fifth and sixth graders reading through the Bible and doing their own in-depth studies!How do I make them feel?“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”—Maya AngelouThis one needs no explanation. I want my students and those around me to feel loved, honored, seen and heard. Known.Write your own manifestoSo, what about you? Are you a teacher or office manager? A waitress or nurse? A stay-at-home mom or barista? What would your career manifesto look like? I'd love to see it! with love and much HOPE,\m/,--Vanessa

Writing a Personal Manifesto

Writing a Manifesto

At the beginning of each year, I love to take some time to evaluate my progress in each area and set new goals for the coming year.This year, I was inspired by Gretchen Rubin to write a personal "manifesto". A manifesto is described as “a published declaration of the intentions, motives, or views of the issuer, be it an individual, group, political party or government." It is a little more detailed than the personal mission statement and describes things that I want to be true of my life. We all have a "facebook fantasy self", as Gretchen calls it. But the key here is to identify and live out what is true for you. Or at least what you WANT to be true of you. In Joel, God says "Let the weak say 'I am strong." (Joel 3:10) Words have power. So here is a list of things I want to be true of my life in 2019.My Personal Manifesto:

1. Be Vanessa

2. One thing is needed

3. There is only love

4. Live with margin

5. It is well

6. Outer order, Inner calm

7. Laughter is medicine.

8. Remember the tapestry

donate button

Be VanessaMy "fantasy self" loves to host family gatherings and dinner parties. The truth is that the mere thought of hosting or cooking for a group of people makes me nearly break out in hives. Hospitality is not my gift. What is true for someone else may not be true for me and that is okay. Be YOU.One Thing is NeededI love the story of Mary and Martha. Jesus commended Mary because she had chosen the “one thing” or the “better” thing--to sit at His feet and spend time with Him. He wasn’t scolding Martha for serving. Jesus Himself came to serve. The problem was Martha’s attitude and the fact that she was preoccupied with doing things He hadn’t asked her to do. What are you doing that God has not called you to do? A good way to measure this is to ask yourself, "what am I doing that I dread each day?" If He has called you to do it, it may not be easy but you will have joy and feel fulfilled.There is Only LoveIt is something I want to be true when someone hurts me or angers or irritates me. I don’t want to let offense or bitterness take root in my heart because “offense” is from the Greek word “skandalon”, meaning “bait or trap”. Don’t take the bait!Grudges are like poison to my body and spirit.Live with MarginIf I am running from thing to thing, I cannot take time to be still and know that He is God. I love Centering (silent) Prayer. There’s a great app if you’re interested in trying it! The goal is to choose a word to focus on in silent contemplation. You breathe deeply and when you are distracted, keep coming back to the word. Sometimes you will have a vision or deeper revelation. Other times you will just feel more peaceful and well, centered. I was amazed recently when I led my middle school classes to try this at Forerunner Christian Academy. They loved it! Embrace the silence and "margin". If you are a creative artist, you will find that often your most creative ideas come during times of idleness!It is WellThe woman from Shunem’s son had just died (2 Kings 4), yet she kept saying in faith “It is well” until she got her breakthrough. The man who wrote “It is well with my soul” had just lost his business and his family yet carried the unshakeable faith that he would see them again.Outer order, Inner CalmI don’t like to admit it, but when my surroundings are in order (and my shoes are put away), I feel more calm. I love the “1 minute rule”—if it takes less than a minute to do (make the bed, put a cup in dishwasher, clear my bathroom vanity…) do it now. Your spouse or roommate will be so proud :)Laughter is MedicineFeeling down or sick? Look up the principal Gerry Brooks or John Crist on YouTube. Stream your favorite comedy or get your funny friends (or family:) together. A merry heart really is like medicine! (Proverbs 17:22)Remember the TapestryIf you look at the back of a tapestry where the artist is stitching, all the strings look like a big mess. But if you could see the other side, you’d see that the artist is making something beautiful. God is the Artist, and your life, a tapestry. It may look like a mess to you right now, because you are in the midst of it. But take time to be still (get the centering prayer app!) and trust Him. He makes all things beautiful in His time.(Ecc. 3:11)Now it's your turn! What will be your personal manifesto? You could also have a job manifesto or a family manifesto. I will share my teaching manifesto here soon. Please share some phrases or quotes from your manifesto! I'd love to hear them!with love and much HOPE,\m/,--Vanessa

What's in Your Hand?

startamomblog.com Free Stock Image 7

Then the Lord said to him, “What is that in your hand?” A staff,” he replied…--Exodus 4:2“When Jeff came in here carrying his own vacuum cleaner to clean your room, that’s when I knew he was the one for you….”This was an ongoing joke in my family for years and my dad loved to tell the story. Jeff had picked me up for a date once and got a glimpse of my catastrophic room. He graciously didn’t say a word about it, but came back the next day with his vacuum cleaner and helped me clean it!I like to think that I’ve gotten better over the years, and I’m pretty sure Jeff would agree, though I’d rather you just take my word for it. I’ve been listening to a podcast by Gretchen Rubin and she often talks about the fact that “outer order contributes to inner calm.” I love her suggestion that if something only takes one minute or less to do, do it now.Because of this “rule”, my bed is made, clothes are hung and shoes are put away (mostly). I still have not found a good solution for the piles of books I insist on keeping near me rather than on the shelves, but we are working on it. Pray for us.I probably should be ashamed to tell this, but once when Jeff was traveling for work, Savannah (then age 5) spilled something on her beloved blankie. She was crying in her room and I said, “honey, we’ll wash it.” She looked at me incredulously and said, “but d-d-do y-you know how to u-u-use the w-w-washing machine?” I called Jeff right then to tell him how much we appreciated him.I remember feeling guilty once when I was working at the computer in the kitchen and he started to unload the dishwasher. I said, “I can do that, honey.” He said “no, you go ahead and write. I can’t write articles and newsletters or teach, but I can unload this dishwasher. Let me do my part, so that you can do your part.” I know, right?Now his “part” includes serving on the maintenance team at the International House of Prayer Missions Base. Recently he received a thank you card from the guy he said he thought was “the head bean-counter” at IHOP-KC (although I’m pretty sure the guy prefers the term CFO). The card read, “Jeff I want to personally say “Thank You!” for your excellent work in my office remodel. Your smile and happy heart were clearly evident as Christ shone through you and left the presence of the Holy Spirit in this office through the work of your hands and the joyful attitude of your heart…”What is your “part” and are you walking in it? When God called Moses to lead the Israelites, he felt nervous and ill-equipped, but God said, “What is that in your hand?” In essence, he was saying, “you do your part and let Me do My part. Use what you have and trust Me with the rest.”We are in the process of selling our house in Coweta and are hoping to buy a motorhome so that we can still visit family and friends in Oklahoma, but also be able to travel to Native reservations to help establish night and day prayer, while training up warrior messengers.I was wrestling with selling the house because for me it represented a sense of security and a place to call “ours”, but God showed me in the book of Numbers how He had given each tribe a portion of land except for the Levites, who represented the priesthood. He said that for them, instead of property, HE would be their “portion.”Then the LORD said to Aaron, “You will have no inheritance in their land, nor will you have any portion among them. I am your portion and your inheritance among the Israelites. Behold, I have given to the Levites all the tithes in Israel as an inheritance in return for the work they do, the service of the Tent of Meeting. (Numbers 18:20-21)I’m not saying we will never own a place or property, but for now in this season, God is teaching us that as intercessory missionaries, our “part” is to minister unto Him, serve in the House of Prayer, and make disciples of the ones He has given us and the ones He will send us to serve.Also, we realize we are living for another day, believing that in the age to come, there will be great reward for every “cup of cold water” given in His name. We will rule and reign over nations! In this age, though, we are in training—a sort of internship, so to speak. So don’t be discouraged if “your part” is not on a stage or in a mansion or on a media platform in this season. Ask God to show you how to use what is in your hand for His glory. And one day, we will be given authority to govern kingdoms. But first we need to—okay, Ineed to—learn to pick up my shoes. Sigh.

The Real Snow White Knows Sign Language

He who goes out weeping, carrying seed for sowing, will certainly come again with joy, carrying his sheaves.—Ps. 126:6“I want to go see Mickey Mouse and the REAL Snow White,” Maegan signed while I interpreted for the Make A Wish representative in the summer of 1994….They had called in a woman who knew sign language to help with the meeting, so they could be sure that it was truly Maegan’s wish and not ours. It was hard to imagine that a parent would lie or hijack their child’s dying wish, but it was pretty clear to everyone that day what Maegan’s true desires were, as she cupped both hands on top of her head to imitate Mickey’s ears. Her eyes sparkled with hope and soon we were on our way.It would be a magnificent week that we would never forget. We stayed in a lovely cottage at Give Kids the World, a non-profit resort that provides week-long, cost-free vacations to critically ill children and their families. We received the “royal treatment”, with tickets to all the theme parks and fun restaurants at Disney’s Magic Kingdom, Universal studios and Sea World. Maegan wore a button that alerted park employees that she was a “special guest.” As soon as someone would see her button, we would be ushered through a private passageway to the front of every ride line. We would also be invited to go backstage and meet the characters at every show. I’ll never forget the look on Maegan’s face when she realized Fievel was writing her name in the autograph book. “He KNOWS MY NAME!” she signed excitedly and I didn’t have the heart to tell her that he had read her button. And then there was the day I heard shrieking from across the room, as Maegan came running toward me, arms flailing. “MOM! The REAL. SNOW. WHITE. KNOWS. SIGN. LANGUAGE!”Sure enough, the beautiful princess signed, “My name is Snow White. I live in the Magic Kingdom.” I don’t think Maegan’s feet touched the ground the whole week. And what a gift to have a break from the “real life” of IV’s, high fevers and hospital stays. I thank God she felt healthy that week, as I noticed several of the other children did not feel as well.I spent time back then in the small chapel, praying for Maegan, for us and the other families. As amazing as the resort was, you could not help but notice the heaviness each family carried, and the weariness in their eyes. I wept for them and for us, for the uncertainty of the days ahead.On the last day, Maegan wrote her name on a star that they would place in the castle of miracles. Maegan lived for two more years after that trip, and I always wondered if we would ever be able to return. In the past 30 years, there have been thousands of stars placed in the castle, but on a recent trip back there, the staff members helped us find Maegan’s star. We showed Savannah around, told stories, met some of the children and again went into the chapel to pray for strength, healing and hope for the brave families battling illness both there and back home.I opened up the Bible that was near the altar, and it fell to this passage from Psalm 126… “They that sow in tears shall reap in joy. He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him.” When you study it out, the picture is that of the farmer, carrying “precious seed” to the earth, weeping because he is weary, and knows not what will become of the seed once he releases it. The Hebrew word for “bearing” is “nasa”, which means “endure” and to “look up”. The farmer knows not what will become of the seed, but he must “look up” and trust God will bless it and multiply it back to him.When Maegan died, God spoke to my heart, “Unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it cannot produce a harvest.” Since her death, millions have been touched through her faith God through articles and posts. Now I am working with an editor to have a book published! Part of the “harvest” comes from teaching young people to find their purpose as she did. You take part in “sowing” through partnership and you will reap!What else could you “sow”? Time in service or mentoring someone? Volunteering at a place like Give Kids the World or a hospital? Maybe you feel like something has been “taken” from you, whether it is in loss of finances or friendship or health. Consider “sowing” it instead. It’s okay to weep and to be uncertain of the future, just as we were years ago. But let your tears water the soil of your heart, as you pray and lift up your eyes to the only One who can bring Growth. He KNOWS YOUR NAME!! Watch for His “Sign Language” and trust Him for a great harvest. 

Making Difficult Decisions

Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."                     —Isaiah 30:21“I need you to pray for me because I have a difficult decision to make….”As an intercessory missionary, I can’t count the number of times I have received this prayer request or some version of it. The pressure is on, a deadline looms near, and you have to step to the right or to the left. Which will it be? Do I take this job in the field I am passionate about and earn less money or the one with the corner office, prestigious title and hefty yearly bonuses?  Should we sell our house and build one or take out a second mortgage and remodel? Should I go to college even though I have no idea what I want to do or should I enter the workforce? Should I start graduate school? Should we have another child? Should we change school districts? Should our kids go to public school or private school or (Lord help you) homeschool? :) Do I retire or keep working? Chances are, you are facing some sort of decision right now, and if not, you will.I’d like to share the advice I give the people who come to me for counsel and prayer. Savannah is starting to make some of her own decisions now that she is able to drive and faced a decision last week. It wasn’t life altering, but she wanted to know what to do. When I have an opinion I don’t hesitate to share it with her, mind you, but she is getting to the age that she needs to be able to stop and listen to what Holy Spirit is saying, especially in the event that I am not around. She and I have this running joke when I am about to give her my “wise counsel” for a situation. I will stop and say “Okay jot this down. Life lesson #274: When facing a decision, you need to….”  Perhaps these “life lessons” will become a book one day. I’ll keep you posted. In the meantime, let me share some with you here.1) Get alone with God. This isn't always possible when a split second decision needs to be made. (which is why I rarely ever make split second decisions) Savannah learned at an early age never to ask me something in front of a friend or put me on the spot. “Can we have a sleepover? Can I go to the movies with _______? Will you bake enchiladas for my class party? Can you chaperone the jr high and high school lock-in? (Unless I have an angel visitation, she knows my answer will always be NO for the last one. Some things you just know :) I never allowed her to put me on the spot because that leaves Holy Spirit out of the decision. Our process is that Jeff and I discuss it, we pray and wait and listen and discuss again. There have been times we did not have peace about something that any other time might have been just fine. Perhaps this time a “no” saved her from a car accident or something worse. My friends who know this about me will often ask ask “Will you pray about______?” instead of “Will you_____?”Go to your secret place where you have your “daily appointment with the King” in prayer and Bible study. Go for a walk around the neighborhood or at the local track. In Coweta one of the most popular places to walk is on the asphalt around the perimeter of the cemetery. (Talk about helping you put things in perspective!) Listen to what rises up in your spirit. Is it a verse or image or song lyric? Did God speak to you through a dream? I am grateful we have a prayer room that is open 24/7. There is always live worship and freedom to pace the floors or sit still and listen or meditate on the Word. If your city doesn’t have a prayer room, I recommend hospital chapels. God has met me in many of them. Journal or draw or play your instrument. Hannah poured out her heart at the altar without speaking anything audibly that could be understood. (1 Sam. 1:12-14)2) Imagine or consider both scenarios in vivid detail. Think about what it would “look like” and “feel like” to step to the right and take the job or make the move. Then imagine what it would be like to step to the left and stay where you are. Consider the two choices and pay attention to what is happening in your body as you visualize in detail each scenario. Does your heart rate quicken? Is it excitement or anxiety? What is happening with your breathing? Are you holding your breath or panting? Did you get a headache or heartburn when you imagined yourself in one of the paths? Did your stomach tighten up like a rock or was it calm?3) Follow peace. A friend was deciding between two positions and later told me, “I got in my car and felt that tightening in my gut you talked about. I had to go back into the office and ask them to tear up the contract because I realized I did not have peace about it!” A partner was considering retirement and Jeff told him, “sometimes when the cloud moves, and the grace lifts, you have to go too.” God led the Israelites with a cloud of smoke by day and a pillar of fire at night. It was exactly what he needed to hear. Think about your situation. Has the cloud moved? Listen for His voice and follow peace.

Begin With the End in Mind

“LORD, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered—how fleeting my life is.”                                  —Psalm 39:4“You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage—pleasantly, smilingly, non apologetically, to say “no” to other things. And the way you do that is by having a bigger “yes” burning inside. The enemy of the “best” is often the “good”    —Stephen CoveyOne of the most powerful exercises I have experienced at a conference is to imagine that I am at my 80th birthday party (another variation is to imagine you are looking in on your own funeral. I prefer the birthday thing, but do whatever works for you :) You imagine thatthere is going to be someone from each area of your life who will be speaking at the party or funeral. There will be someone from your immediate family and someone from your extended family, a friend, a co-worker, someone from your community, etc. In the exercise, you are to imagine what you would want them to say when it is their turn to speak and then write it out. This exercise is a great way to determine how you want to live today and what choices and decisions will help you become the person you imagine your family and friends describing. This exercise will also help you to discover your core values, or the things that are most important to you.What are your core values? I rarely find people that can answer this question with any real clarity. When we allow our lives to be guided by our values, we feel happy, fulfilled, and a deep sense of connection with God and others. We also know that when your behavior is out of alignment with our core values, it creates a deep disturbance in your mind and spirit that can lead to lack of passion and loss of energy in your life. If you have never taken time to ponder what values are most important to you in your life, now is a great time to do it and I can help!Step One: Identify Your Core Values. First, review and circle or write down the values listed below that are important to you. Be sure to trust your instincts. You can always eliminate it later if you decide it isn’t a fit. Don’t add values to your list that you “think you should have” or “want to have.” This list is about what actually matters to you. Core Values: authenticity, achievement, adventure, authority, balance, beauty, boldness, comfort, compassion, community, creativity, contribution, courage, dependability, determination, education, equality, fairness, faith, family, freedom, friendship, fun, growth, happiness, health, honesty, humor, influence, inner harmony, integrity, joy, justice, kindness, knowledge, leadership, learning, love, loyalty, meaningful work, openness, optimism, passion, patience, peace, pleasure, poise, popularity, power, privacy, recognition, reputation, respect, responsibility, safety, security, service, spirituality, stability, strength, success, status, trustworthiness, truth, vulnerability, wealth, wisdom (circle yours)This list is certainly not all-inclusive, so if you think of one that you do not see here, add it! Two of my main core values are not on this list—prayer and purpose. My personal mission statement is to inspire, encourage and motivate others to spend time with God (prayer) and to find and fulfill their unique God-given purpose. When I am doing this, I feel like I am doing “me”—I feel content and at peace with myself and others. When I am not doing this, I feel anxious and out of sorts. At this moment, I have five different requests being made of me that are not related to my mission or core values. They are “good things”—things I might enjoy doing or even be good at, but I know if I say yes to these “good” things, it could ultimately mean saying no to God’s “best” for me.Luke 4:42-44 tells one of my favorite stories in Scripture because it portrays Jesus saying no to a “good” thing so that He could say yes to the Father’s “best”. Look it up and ask God to show you His “best” for you!Step 2: Write positive action statements incorporating your top 5 or 10 core values. These statements should start with “I am” and when you read it, imagine what it would feel like if this were already happening. This creates a healthy tension that will ultimately spur you to take action. So, for instance, one of my core values is “influence”. A positive statement might be I am powerfully influencing others through my writing and speaking. (Hey, I’m walking this one out right now! :) Another is “education”—I am passionately teaching tomorrow’s leaders and developing curriculum for students who will be world-changers and history-makers. Now it’s your turn. Two of my mom’s core values are education and literacy. She received messages last week from a parent saying how she had increased a love of reading in her son. Another student posted on FB that my mom made her more confident in reading aloud. So. . . begin with the end in mind.

A Legacy of Hope

”The worst possible thing you can do when you’re down in  the dumps, tweaking, vaporous with victimized self-righteousness, or bored, is to take a walk with dying friends. They will ruin everything for you. First of all, friends like this may not even think of themselves as dying, although they clearly are, according to recent scans and gentle doctors’ reports. But no, they see themselves as fully alive. They are living and doing as much as they can, as well as they can, for as long as they can.”—Anne Lamott, “Small Victories”This reminded me so much of my mother in her battle with cancer. She remained extremely optimistic, almost annoyingly so, right up until the day she died. “No Mom, I do NOT think it is a wisdom for you to drive to Graceland when Aunt Cookie comes to visit . . . well, because she has back problems and can’t drive long distances and you are on so much pain medication that I’m sure she would rather have Mr. Magoo driving her than you . . . Mom, did you order anti-aging cream from a television commercial? Do you really think your crow’s feet are an issue right now? Yes that IS a beautiful semi-truck…no, I don’t think I have ever seen a turquoise semi before…I doubt he will let us ride in it…because that’s a long way up and you were barely able to get in my Camry this morning. . . well, the dr. said if you eat solid food you will be back in the hospital, but yes, I guess you could put that plate of Gary Rippy’s fried fish in the freezer until you are well….” These may or may not have been some of the conversations I had with my mom in her last months. You can’t keep a good woman down, I tell you. She had more hope than all of us I think.I was reading some of the text messages recently and cracked up when I  read this report to my sister after her last surgery: “Well she seemed to be in a lot of pain when we helped her to the bathroom, but then we heard her singing ‘don’t it make my brown eyes blue…wait a minute, I have green eyes…..don’t it make my green eyes….then she started talking about a dog in WWII from one of her kids books at the library.” Okay, I know what you’re thinking and I guess some of the optimism could have been narcotic-induced, but over and over again I heard from nurses and staff members at the hospital and hospice home about what a positive attitude and “bright spirit” she had, always encouraging someone.There are several traits I believe I got from my mother—a love for reading and a strange compulsion to have books (or at least A BOOK) around me at all times. Another quirk I got was carrying tons of various pens with me. Is this a teacher thing, I wonder? Jeff marveled at my mother’s collection of colored pens in the outer pocket of her purse and once and asked her, “Linda, are we about to take a test?” She looked at him puzzled and he pointed at the pens. He teased her almost as much as my father did. Lots of people tell me I look like my mother and some people could never tell our voices apart on the phone. I got my “teacher look” from her that my students believe could actually turn them to stone. Granted, my father had this “gift” too that served him well as a principal so I may have gotten it from him. Nonetheless, I am grateful.Don’t get me wrong—there are some traits I did not inherit from her or would never admit to it if I did. Mom was a bit of a hoarder. Not the filthy kind but the kind that wanted to fold up and save the wrapping paper her gifts came in because it was just “so beautiful.” And don’t get me started on the Elvis memorabilia. She also had the tendency to need to rush to the bathroom when she laughed too hard. Or if someone startled her. Those traits I am quite happy that she didn’t pass to me.The thing I hope most, though, that I got from my mother was her ability to enjoy her life and enjoy people, and to feel enjoyed. On the evening of July 4th, Savannah and I were with her in her Tulsa hospital room on the 14th floor, and we had a spectacular view of every fireworks display within a 30 mile radius. We sat by the window holding hands for hours, oohing and aaaahhhing and laughing. The next day, doctors would sit by that same window and tell us in somber tones that there was nothing else they could do, and that we should prepare for the worst. Mom looked at me brightly, squeezed my hand and said, “Don’t cry honey. This means I get to go and be with your daddy!” Later she looked at me and said, “Vanessa can you believe they did all that for me last night?” I was perplexed. “What do you mean, Mom?” She was talking about all the fireworks….the celebration. She believed she was being celebrated…that someone knew she would be coming Home. And maybe she was right. Consider joining our ministry support team as we pray for the nation and train up forerunner messengers from the place of night and day prayer. We will commit to faithfully pray for you, your family, business or ministry. Partner with us here:

Partnering With Jesus: Faith for Supernatural Provision

“That money is not for you. It’s for her. . .”It was 2006 and I had been at the altar praying with a single mother about a desperate financial need. At the time I occasionally interpreted for a deaf person who would visit our church and sometimes ministered in song using sign language. As soon as I finished praying with the woman, one of the ushers walked up to me carrying an offering envelope that said “sign language lady”. Inside was a stack of twenty dollar bills and I rejoiced as I got in the car and shared our “good fortune” with Jeff. Then I stopped in mid-sentence. I suddenly had a vision of praying for the financial need and turning to see the usher walking up to me. “That money is not for you. It’s for her. . .” the Holy Spirit nudged me. I remembered the verse in James about not simply praying for someone and saying “be warm and well fed” then walking away if you have the ability to meet their need. So we drove to the woman’s house and gave her the money. That same month I received three unexpected speaking invitations and our “seed” multiplied to over $4,000!A few years later, God would “nudge” me again to give my car away and walk to our prayer room through the summer. One day Savannah and I were walking to the library and I exclaimed, “Hey—I just realized that I’ve been praying for us to get more exercise and look—God is answering!” Savannah, red-faced and sweating, did not see the humor OR feel the gratitude in that particular revelation. “Well MOM, stop praying that!” I laughed out loud and put my arm around her. These walks gave us lots of time to talk and I shared with her how I wanted her to have her own “history in God” concerning faith with finances. I explained that faith is like a muscle, and the only way for it to grow is if you use it and “stretch” it. She rejoiced with us when, at the end of the summer, we were given TWO cars (one of which we sold and gave the profit to another missionary and the other we are still driving), but she decided she wanted to grow her own faith muscle. She has several cool stories but one stands out to me.One day as I was preparing to leave for an internship in Kansas City at the International House of Prayer, we were out for a walk (because we wanted to :) Savannah reached into her pocket and pulled out a twenty dollar bill. She shyly handed it to me. "Mom, I already gave my tithe this month but I want to give this to you for the internship and to show you I believe in you and what God is calling you to do." I teared up and reluctantly took the money, knowing it was probably half of what she had been saving. When we got back home, Jeff (knowing nothing about her seed offering) said, "Oh, Savannah—I almost forgot—I sold your two old bicycles and here is the money." It was 40 dollars! She looked at me wide-eyed and said, WHOA!A couple months into the internship, we were feeling financial pressure because of some unexpected expenses. I sat in the prayer room, trying to connect with the intercession for revival on college campuses, but my mind kept going to our financial need. I saw a missionary named Isaac walk past and recalled how I had prayed for his financial need in our small group that morning. Give him your envelope money, I heard. That can’t be God, I reasoned. It was my household and grocery money for the whole month! I received confirmation it was God, then went to the bathroom and took out all of my envelope cash, not counting it but knowing there was over $200. I put it in a card with an encouraging word and verse and gave it to Isaac, who praised God out loud in the lobby. Later that day Jeff called to tell me we had received an unexpected check for $500, exactly what we needed plus I wouldn’t have to fast the rest of the month! (wink) I share these stories to encourage you to “exercise your faith muscle” in the area of partnering with Jesus in the realm of supernatural provision in finances. My point is NOT that we give in order to get money back, but rather to partner with Him in building His Kingdom. And when we release our faith with our seed and God answers with supernatural provision, our hearts soar and we respond as Savannah did, WHOA! God is AWESOME and He loves me and hears me! And THAT will be the point.*We recognize that God uses people like you and me to partner with His work in the earth. Would you consider partnering with us in this work of prayer and missions? Our ongoing mission is to train up forerunner messengers from the place of night and day prayer and to help keep a 24/7 sanctuary of perpetual worship and prayer. We currently need 5-7 more monthly partners to cover monthly expenses and $2,000 in special gifts to help with re-location costs during this season of equipping at the International House of Prayer in Kansas City. You can mail donations to Frontier Missions, P.O. Box 374, Coweta, OK 74429 or click on the link above. All donations are tax-deductible.