At the beginning of each year, I love to take some time to evaluate my progress in each area and set new goals for the coming year.This year, I was inspired by Gretchen Rubin to write a personal "manifesto". A manifesto is described as “a published declaration of the intentions, motives, or views of the issuer, be it an individual, group, political party or government." It is a little more detailed than the personal mission statement and describes things that I want to be true of my life. We all have a "facebook fantasy self", as Gretchen calls it. But the key here is to identify and live out what is true for you. Or at least what you WANT to be true of you. In Joel, God says "Let the weak say 'I am strong." (Joel 3:10) Words have power. So here is a list of things I want to be true of my life in 2019.My Personal Manifesto:

Be Vanessa
One thing is needed
There is only love
Live with margin
It is well
Outer order, Inner calm
Laughter is medicine.
Remember the tapestry

Be VanessaMy "fantasy self" loves to host family gatherings and dinner parties. The truth is that the mere thought of hosting or cooking for a group of people makes me nearly break out in hives. Hospitality is not my gift. What is true for someone else may not be true for me and that is okay. Be YOU.One Thing is NeededI love the story of Mary and Martha. Jesus commended Mary because she had chosen the “one thing” or the “better” thing--to sit at His feet and spend time with Him. He wasn’t scolding Martha for serving. Jesus Himself came to serve. The problem was Martha’s attitude and the fact that she was preoccupied with doing things He hadn’t asked her to do. What are you doing that God has not called you to do? A good way to measure this is to ask yourself, "what am I doing that I dread each day?" If He has called you to do it, it may not be easy but you will have joy and feel fulfilled.There is Only LoveIt is something I want to be true when someone hurts me or angers or irritates me. I don’t want to let offense or bitterness take root in my heart because “offense” is from the Greek word “skandalon”, meaning “bait or trap”. Don’t take the bait!Grudges are like poison to my body and spirit.Live with MarginIf I am running from thing to thing, I cannot take time to be still and know that He is God. I love Centering (silent) Prayer. There’s a great app if you’re interested in trying it! The goal is to choose a word to focus on in silent contemplation. You breathe deeply and when you are distracted, keep coming back to the word. Sometimes you will have a vision or deeper revelation. Other times you will just feel more peaceful and well, centered. I was amazed recently when I led my middle school classes to try this at Forerunner Christian Academy. They loved it! Embrace the silence and "margin". If you are a creative artist, you will find that often your most creative ideas come during times of idleness!It is WellThe woman from Shunem’s son had just died (2 Kings 4), yet she kept saying in faith “It is well” until she got her breakthrough. The man who wrote “It is well with my soul” had just lost his business and his family yet carried the unshakeable faith that he would see them again.Outer order, Inner CalmI don’t like to admit it, but when my surroundings are in order (and my shoes are put away), I feel more calm. I love the “1 minute rule”—if it takes less than a minute to do (make the bed, put a cup in dishwasher, clear my bathroom vanity…) do it now. Your spouse or roommate will be so proud :)Laughter is MedicineFeeling down or sick? Look up the principal Gerry Brooks or John Crist on YouTube. Stream your favorite comedy or get your funny friends (or family:) together. A merry heart really is like medicine! (Proverbs 17:22)Remember the TapestryIf you look at the back of a tapestry where the artist is stitching, all the strings look like a big mess. But if you could see the other side, you’d see that the artist is making something beautiful. God is the Artist, and your life, a tapestry. It may look like a mess to you right now, because you are in the midst of it. But take time to be still (get the centering prayer app!) and trust Him. He makes all things beautiful in His time.(Ecc. 3:11)Now it's your turn! What will be your personal manifesto? You could also have a job manifesto or a family manifesto. I will share my teaching manifesto here soon. Please share some phrases or quotes from your manifesto! I'd love to hear them!with love and much HOPE,\m/,--Vanessa

"What do you want?"Before that day, he had been a complete stranger. We shared a two hour shuttle ride from Santa Fe to Albuquerque in 2005 and my life would never be the same. I'm still not certain that he wasn't an angelic messenger, though I remember now that he had said he was a therapist of some sort. He was talking to me about an illumination session that he took clients through to get to the core issues that were holding them back from love, peace, fulfillment."That's the first question of the session... I always ask 'What do you want?"As soon as he said those words, I felt like my whole world sliced wide open. It completely caught me off guard because I realized I didn't know the answer! Do YOU know the answer to that question? That is something I'm very passionate about--helping people find their unique purpose and challenging them to find a way to "walk in it." That all starts with this one question. What do you want?Thankfully, the woman in the seat in front of us suddenly turned around and started showing us the greeting cards she had designed with her own art. We passed them back and forth and Tom the Angel would ever so often pause and lean over to show me one, "you'll like this one..." And y'all, I was stunned because well, he was right! The ones he picked are exactly the ones I would have pointed out and there's just absolutely NO WAY he could have known that from a two hour conversation. Unless he were an angel. Or maybe Jesus in disguise. Okay, I know, I know.I used to be a sign language interpreter for the deaf at a mental health center and I remember one of the group sessions when one of my favorite clients confessed, "I can't read the Bible too much because I start thinking I'm a prophet." I kept my robotic interpreter face on and continued to sign with my hands but inside I admit it's all I could do not to shoot my hand up and shout, "I KNOW, ME TOO!" It's possible they might have kept me over then at that point for "observation" (doing the quote signs with my hands) so it's probably best I kept quiet in that particular situation. I tell that story in case you are thinking that I've been reading the Bible too much and now think I'm seeing angels. or Jesus. But don't call the psych ward on me just yet because that's not even the point, people!The point is that it made me think about how Jesus was always asking people, even the ones whose answers seemed obvious. "What do you want?" or "What do you want me to do for you?" It's obvious the man was blind. Did He really need to ask that? Or what about the man who laid by the pool of Bethesda for THIRTY-EIGHT YEARS. "Do you really want to get well?" He always looked past what was on the surface...to the heart.As I boarded my plane that day after waving goodbye to Tom, I realized that no matter who or what he was, God had used him to send a message to my heart. "What do you want?" I sat staring out the window and finally the answer bubbled up from the depths of my heart in a single word. Intimacy. I heard once someone describe the word "intimacy" as "into-me-see". . . The same messenger who asked the question also gave me the answer. He listened to me and then showed me that he "heard" me. He "saw" me. Into-me-see. That's what a personal relationship with Jesus is. He listens. He sees inside your heart, then He goes out of His way to show you pictures of His love. "You'll like this," He says and then paints the sky your favorite color at sunset. Then it's your turn and you write Him a poem or sing Him a song. "You'll like this..." And He does.Sometimes we have to ask ourselves that question over and over and over again before we get to the true desire of our heart. I once led a workshop where I asked people to pair up and ask one another that question again and again and again. At first we start listing our immediate needs and wants....I want a new job....I want a new car....I want a bigger house...I want another baby....I want human trafficking to end...I want to quit smoking...I want my children to be healthy...I want to write a book...I want to learn to play guitar...I want to write a song that will change lives...I want to be held close...I want passion....I want adventure...I want peace...I want joy....you get the picture.So, what do you want? I finally know the answer to that question for me. I want intimacy and passion for Jesus. I want adventure. I want to be a great wife and mother and friend. I want to pray and write and teach. I want to love deeply and be loved deeply. I want "face time".Take action: Have a friend ask you this question over and over again or ask yourself again and again and record your answers on a sheet of paper until you feel like you have narrowed it down to the "core issue"....the desire of your heart. Imagine if Jesus knocked on your door or sat down next to you on a shuttle today and asked you that question, "what do you want Me to do for you?" What would you say?

Vanessa's Blog

Writing a Personal Manifesto

What Do You Want?

Vanessa VanCleave